Freaky Friday: Deck the Halls

Friday, December 20, 2013

 OMG, it's a Christmas miracle: I have a free day. I wrapped up everything for work yesterday and while we have a family party later tonight, I have a whole day to be productive and clean up, bake and -- oh, look! The Internet.

Who am I kidding? I'm going to lay around and play on the iPad and then hurriedly shove stuff in closets at 5:30 to "clean." I also have managed to misplace gifts somewhere so I have big plans to tear the house apart looking for them.

In the meantime, let's get festive.

 The more I look this picture, the more I laugh. It's not so much the sweater, but the "I have no idea what I'm doing" look on Rudolph's face.

 Ugh, who even started the whole "Team" thing? You don't need to be on any team. It's the holidays. Can't we all just get along?

 How can a festive sweatsuit make me feel so sad inside?

PS I can't see the bottom of these pants but I just KNOW there's elasticized cuffs. 

 Oh... OK, that's cool.

 This is my favorite festive sweater of ALL TIME. Look at those happy dreidels! They're all like "You don't have to celebrate Christmas to have a good time" and I'm like "You're right I totally want in on this Hanukkah thing!"

 I love these mopey teenager "Things I love" pictures. They are so freakin' specific. Wearing sweaters around the house? Are we just naming things we do every day that aren't special at all?

"Paying bills."

"Waiting in line at the grocery store."

"Pumping gas."


Wow. So true.
 Aw, look! You get loneliness for Christmas!

 That's one way to spread Christmas cheer.

 OK, the cat's paws look like saggy boobs and now I can't unsee it. It's like how my husband says that Sara Bareilles song "Brave" sounds like it's saying "I wanna see you pee-pee" and I can't unhear it EVER.

 Feeling festive? Do some pattern mixing, wear your husband's socks and then look reeeeeally unimpressed and you can spend Christmas alone.

From the "Every 2nd grade teacher ever" collection.

Speaking of which, the other day my little brother was sending me pictures of my first grade report cards and they said things like "Jacqueline is an excellent galloper" and "She reads from the dictionary and wrote a story about blisters."

I was a really cool kid is what I am saying.

 Let's finish strong and not forget that leaving out cookies is like, soooo mainstream. If you really want to impress him, leave some indie music on the record player and Santa might leave you a corded phone and some bangs.

Alright, I'm signing off for the holiday, so next week will be pretty quiet around here. In the meantime, know that all I want for Christmas is you. And some jewelry. And also the new boots that I've been tracking online and are supposed to arrive today.

But mostly you.

XO, Jae


Misty said...

This is the best thing that's happened to me throughout the entire 2013 holiday season. Also, I want that sweater with the saggy boobs cat. So I can wear it around the house. And love it.

Jae said...

Bonus: You wouldn't have to wear a bra. Boom.

Linda Loui said...

Thanks for making me cry at work in a good way. Your report card comments are awesome. I'm saving my son's daycare report comments about needing a plunger after he used the toilet for a future girlfriend's reading pleasure.

Jae said...

Hahah please do!! I was dying when he was sending them to me. I always make fun of him because HE used to read the dictionary so he was like "SEE HA! I'm not the only family nerd."

Stacy Mallory said...

Thank you Jae! You brought tears to my eyes in a good way. Have a Merry Christmas. Think about me as I go to the Las Vegas airport to pick up my husband, it is always such a fashion show/train wreck!

M said...

I love these because it makes me realize there are people who dress way worse than I do and that I am not the worst dressed person out there. For that alone I thank you for existing. And you are Canadian. We rock.

Teensy Tots Clothes said...

You're killing me with the saggy cat boobs comment. I will never see Hello Kitty the same way. And it reminds me to throw out that teddy bear sweater I got from last Christmas. Those bear paws look way too much like the cat paws.

bequi said...

As far as misheard lyrics, my husband thinks she's saying, "I wanna see you be baaaathed!"

And wrecking ball? Yeah, I thought she was saying, "You raaaaape me! Yeah, you raaaaape me!"

bequi said...

As far as misheard lyrics, my husband thinks she's saying, "I wanna see you be baaaathed!"

And wrecking ball? Yeah, I thought she was saying, "You raaaaape me! Yeah, you raaaaape me!"


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