Friday, June 1, 2012
Me and my little brother (who is like 10 feet tall despite being three years younger than me) had a text convo about hipsters. I thought I'd share.
As a precursor, please keep in mind that Marshall is my parent's dog. Jonathan did not throw up on a person. Also, all of his texts are labeled Ton because he might have had what we call a bit of weight problem when he was a child and the name stuck. Sorry, Ton Ton.
Here, I'll make it up to you by proving that you've lost your baby chubs. Readers, one of the above guys is my brother. GUESS!
I'm in the process of trying to marry him off. I'll accept applications or just put him and my other brothers on a weird family edition of "The Bachelor."
ANYWAY! Hipsters.... (I'm in blue, Ton is silver. Colors are so mainstream.)
Seriously, is there anything worse than hipsters? I mean FINE nuclear warfare would be slightly worse, but they're up there. It's not even the clothes that I hate. It's more the superiority complex that makes me want to punch a display of thrift store tweed pants.
Yes, Hipster Ariel. WE KNOW you hate popular stuff. You're SO underground.
It's pretty ironic... you wouldn't get it.
All annoying habits and serial killer music aside, some of hipster fashion is actually bearable. The other stuff just looks like a Goodwill threw up on a homeless person. Observe.
Awesome hipster. Note the use of humor AND irony AND non-douchebaggery. Much love, Jakie-poo.
Hipsters that were hipsters before hipsters were hipsters. A hipster holy grail.
You are SO right, geriatric hipster.
Let this be a warning to all of you hipsters... Despite dressing in clothes that are 40 years old, you will not age well.
Um, I pretty much want to be this hipster. Those are the ultimate skinny jeans and I might have a slight girl crush.
I'm sorry, I missed the part where crotchtastic boob shorts were hip? I think I might be too old to get it. Wait... does that make me vintage and even MORE hipster? I'M SO CONFUSED.
I WILL have this shaggy hipster haircut. The 80s blazer is AH-mazing, even if she got it at the Salvation Army. And teamed with a sloppy shirt and skinny jeans? Excuse me while I recreate this look IMMEDIATELY. I even love the glasses and shall be buying some soon.
Rock on, hot hipster. Rock on.
Sigh. The Beatles? Really? What a lazy attempt at being a hipster.
"It's the Beatles. They're pretty underground... you've probably never heard of them."
"Um, they're the most popular band in history."
"WHAT!? The guy in the record store told me this was legit! I would have picked it out for myself but I've ruined my eyes by wearing my grandmother's bifocals!"
Audrey Hepburn: The O.H. - Original Hipster. Remember her GAP commercial? Suck it, misunderstood upper middle class teens!
Sure they are.
I know this post just proves that I'm either woefully out of touch with current fashion and pop culture or just more committed to personal hygiene than most hipster 20-somethings. I can't decide which.
Plus, I'm pretty sure I was a hipster back in 1989. Check those glasses, Zooey Deschanel haircut and suspenders, suckas!
Weigh in: How do you really feel about hipster culture? If you're reading this on your Macbook in a coffee shop while drinking chai tea and wearing thrifted flannel, I think we already have your vote, thanks.