What I Wore: Tough Girl

Monday, February 6, 2012

So I have to tell you guys what happened when I took my kids to that extreme air gym. Of course, I was being an idiot and acting like a kid and I hopped onto one of those pro European trampolines. You know, the kind with really loose weave so the second you step on one it slingshots you at the roof? Yeah, that kind. Anyway, I was jumping on it, getting some great height and congratulating myself on choosing to wear a sports bra, when my daughter wanted me to go somewhere else in the gym with her. I thought "You know what would be fantastic? Getting tons of height and then jumping onto the adjacent soft mat and landing on my back like a turtle -- that would be the coolest EVER." So I told my daughter to hang on as I jumped higher and then went sailing through the air to land on the soft mat.

Guess what?

It wasn't a soft mat. At all. No, instead, it was one of those rock-hard mats that mean gym teachers make you use. The ones that they hang up on the walls around the gym and that feel like spongey brick.

As I came down, I had the breath knocked out of me with a loud "OOOOOOFFFFF." There were two other moms there that had WISELY decided to be spectators and I'm sure they sniffed that THAT was why they never participate in that type of thing. I laid there for like, five minutes, wishing for the sweet release of death.

Then I got up to jump again. Unfortunately, my old lady body is not so quick to recover. I'm pretty sure I ended up with some type of whiplash.

Moral of the story? Test mats before staking entire life on their softness. Please.

But it's OK, because when I'm not acting like a demented ninja turtle, I dress like I'm super tough. As the daughter of a real-live biker, I'm genetically predisposed to things like leather and studs, which is why you'll see me in my Fryes more often than not. But don't worry, my dad is like, the nicest biker you would ever meet. He is adorable and wears gardening gloves when he rides. I mean, come on. You can't be scared of a biker who wears gardening gloves.

Also, he used to drive me to school on his motorcycle and I would be MORTIFIED because he would make me wear the helmet. It messed up my hair every. time.

I'm sure my dad would be proud to see his daughter sporting a nice person biker look like this one.

Tank: c/o mod bod
Black henley tank: GAP
Button up - Reitman's (Canada) I've had this since I moved here, which was 9 years ago.
Jeans: Abercrombie
Socks: Target
Boots: Frye
Earrings: Nordstrom (BP, I think!)
Bracelets: Nordstrom
Belt: Umm... I have no clue.

I tried to look tougher by not smiling but it didn't work. I just looked vaguely annoyed.

Please note that this is a super easy way to start layering if you haven't already tried it. Put something other than a plain Jane tank under a button up. It's super simple but gives some more interest to take away some of the tired mommyness of wearing a button up in general. I do this with henleys, vests, fitted graphic tees, you name it.

Also, what's better with a tough girl look than a cool braid? I just gave my hair a deep part and started the french braid just above by ear. I continued down diagonally across the back and it took like, three seconds.
See? Super easy.

Dressing like a tough girl biker is about the closest I'll ever come to driving a motorcycle in earnest. I'm too much of a spaz to operate one on my own. We have a four wheeler and I don't even know how to start it.

Plus the helmet messes up my hair.


Anonymous said...

Awesome story about the Gym! I've once jumped against a wall from a super bouncy trampoline. Thank God my kids are too young to be embarrassed by me.
Love your tough look. Keep on rocking your bad self!

Jae said...

Hahah Maggie
I am so glad I am not alone. I felt like the biggest idiot and just hoped that no one heard my death knell. LOL!

Rhonda said...

Love your style, love your blog, love your humor! Can you explain boot socks to me? I'm just not getting the trend???

huffman_rhonda @ yahoo .com

Jae said...

Re boot socks! I like them because they add height to my boots... My fryes hit lower than the knee so I like an extra few inches. Plus they are an easy way to add another layer. But seriously - no worried if you don't get it! There's lots of things in fashion I don't get either! Lol

Carolyn said...

Ok seriously, HOW does one french braid their OWN hair?!?! I can do Jordyn's juuuuust fine. Mine? No way. I just can't figure it out. Seriously, I'm an idiot when it comes to that. Help! lol

Jae said...

LOL Carloyn -- I just started doing it when I was a teen. Have you ever tried to french braid the front portion of your hair? Maybe if you start where you can see, you'll get the process down enough so you can try it across the back of your head? Or teach Matt to do it. LOL!


Powered by Blogger.
Related Posts with Thumbnails
Blog contents © How Not to Dress Like A Mom 2010. Blogger Theme by Nymphont.