Freaky Friday: Fun with Keywords

Friday, January 20, 2012

Today is one of those Fridays that I have been off and running since the alarm hit. And I'm super excited because this afternoon I'm heading off to do some prep work for a giveaway on Wednesday, so be excited too!

The more posts I have on my site and the more colorful language I use, the more weird searches I get in my Statcounter. I'm always super amazed at how people stumble across my blog -- like, seriously, people. Besides the completely perverted, I've got an entire new batch for weirdness that came up in the keyword analysis of my website's stats. OH YEAH.

"Kama sutra snuggie."

If tacky infomercial products turn you on, you're beyond my help. Also, ew.

"How to not be like your husband's mother."

My advice would probably be to not be like your husband's mother. Because it sounds like you kind of hate her.

"Padded butt jeans."

Might I introduce you to Booty Pop? Or you can totally have some of my booty, because I'm just nice amd charitable like that.

"Sexy lamp."

I saw this in the Sky Mall catalog the last time I flew and I was like yeah, just what I need. A light fixture that is skinnier than me.

"Pictures of cute hamsters eating pencils."


I don't even know anymore.

"Foot undies."

Look, I know that these are for dance and stuff but please, they are a foot fetishist's dream.

"Wearing overalls and desperate to pee."

Oh hey, welcome to my site, anyone who has ever worn overalls. It serves you right for 1) wearing overalls in the first place and 2) Googling this instead of just using the washroom. It honestly makes me wonder what is wrong with the human race.

"Worst tube top ever."

I believe that it would be any tube top ever. This isn't "In Living Color," so you can go ahead and put some clothes on.

"Freaky bustier."

I decided to Google that exact phrase and came up with this. I believe it's from "How to Dress Like a Terrifying Russian Spy-Lady."

"Pimp clothes."

Ooh, how about a sexy pimp costume? As a special touch, this was listed for teens and it said it came with "shorts." Let me know if you can find them.

"Why I'll never dress like my parents did."

Because my dad got married in a powder blue leisure suit and that's a good enough reason for me.

"Clever ways to hide a microwave."

Well, it definitely won't fit in your purse, so I'm thinking you should just splurge and buy the popcorn AT the theatre.

"Half skirt half shorts."

These are called culottes. I had some when I was seven. STOP IT.

Well, whatever way people get here, I'm just glad you come to hang out every Friday, you big pervs!

Happy weekend, everyone!

**Please note that I moved the comments link back down to the bottom with my latest bloggy facelift. So click it and use it often or I'll be forced to eat my feelings kthanx.**


Nora Bradshaw said...

These made me laugh! Thanks again.

Ashley Smith said...

I love freaky friday

Sarah said...

Freaky Friday is my favorite! You are such a good writer. If you ever wrote a book I would totes buy it.

Jae said...

lol I love you guys! I need to figure out how to pitch a completely offensive book to publishers.

Misty said...

Feet are disgusting enough. But feet in undies? I'm barfing even as I type.

Kristy said...

This might be your funniest post yet. I've already read it 3 times. Cute hamsters eating pencils?! :)

Anonymous said...

Foot undies = a dance shoe. Dancers use them in routines for contemporary styles.

Jenna said...

I love going through my search terms. It's hilarious.

Love the bloggy make-over! Wooo!

B. Cat said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG. This is the best. I have been following for a long time now and couldn't go any longer without telling you how awesome your posts are! Thank you!!


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