Tuesday, October 30, 2012
It's that time again! I know you've been waiting for it! Time to scour the Web to find the sketchiest sexy costumes EVER. This is probably my favorite HNTDLAM feature. Because nothing says "I have low self esteem" like fishnets on Halloween.
"Sexy Anorexia": Maggie
We should probably just start with a bang and do the most offensive first. This is "Sexy Anorexia." She likes long walks on the beach, obsessively counting calories and apparently, measuring her waist.
Like... really? I don't believe in the human race anymore.
"Sexy Hotdog": Rachelle
My sister-in-law texted my about this late last night, so I'm giving her credit as a last minute submission. Because I could not pass up the opportunity to post a sexy hotdog.
"Amber D'Alessio made out with a hot dog? OMG THAT WAS ONE TIME!"
Name that movie!!
But seriously. This gives the term "street meat" new meaning, amiright?
"Sexy Sea Turtle": Lindsay
This has got to be one of my favorite in the "make cute animals pornographic" category. I would actually like to know how this is a turtle in any way. They have flippers, not Madonna Half Gloves.
"Sexy Shark" - Angela
On the Yandy website they called this a "Man Eater" HAHAHAHA kill me. I really love how the bottom of the skirt is all jagged and ripped... because.... the shark was eating herself?
"Sexy Unicorn": Lindsay
Lindsay also sent over this total stretch of a costume, the sexy unicorn. Most of the costumes at that site are lingerie or tiny dresses with huge boots. Can we just do that instead?
"What are you going to be for Halloween?"
"Oh, a dirty whore with fuzzy boots."
"Sexy Lloyd and Harry" - Nicole
Yeah, you read this right. These girls managed to defile all that is holy in the world and make "Dumb and Dumber" into sexy Halloween costumes. See, you know they're sexy because they're the loosest interpretation ever paired with tights and underpants. STOP IT. Don't you ruin Lloyd Christmas for me!
"Sexy Hamster": Valeria
Rodents. So hot right now. Also, please note this is the rodent from the Kia commercial, like that makes dressing like what is essentially a sexy rat any better.
Again with the furry boots!
"Sexy House": Janelle
Janelle sent me a whole collection of bad costumes, but this was my favorite BY FAR. Let's guess what pickup lines this girl will get when she goes to her trashtastic Halloween party.
-Can I peek through your windows?
-Nice cat (prepubescent man giggles ensue)
-How much to rent?
"Sexy Hulk Hogan.... or Ronald McDonald, I can't decide.": Carrie
What says sexy more than a mustachioed lady in latex? I dare you to come up with something sexier.
"Sexy Pikachus" 1: Ashley 2: Megan
It's clash of the low self esteem teens! When I first conjured this contest, I jokingly asked all of you to go find a sexy Pikachu costume, because at the time, it was the most ridiculous costume i could think of. Then two readers sent me some and I stood corrected. The best part is that in both costumes, the only thing that resembles an animated space hamster are the ears. Pretty sure there was not 6" heels in Pokemon.
"Sexy CSI": Nicole
She's here to collect some samples.
EWW. Did I just say that?
"Sexy Etch a Sketch": Danielle
This was my favorite submissing that Danielle sent me. I will never look at my kids' Etch a Sketch the same. Sketchy Sally, indeed.
I am convinced you could make literally any object into a sexy costumes. Sexy lamp? Sexy scissors? Sexy garbage can? All totally plausible.
"Sexy Optimus Prime": Natalie
My favorite part about this costume was BY FAR the reviews it got. One enthusiastically proclaimed "It didn't rip when I sat down!" Dream big, skanky Halloween girl. You keep those standards high.
Alright, that's the group. Remember... post the title or the name of the submitter to cast your vote. Let's see which is the worst of the worst.... of the WORST.
Also, stay tuned for What I Wore on Monday, when you'll get to see my (non-slutty) Halloween costume! It's gonna be epic.