Friday, August 19, 2011
Happy Friday everyone! I have a full day of work and play and a wedding to get to, so let's make fun of some clothes, shall we? It makes me feel better about myself when I haven't gotten dressed yet. I might be wearing pajamas... but at least I'm not wearing this crap!
THIS is why no one dresses femininely or modestly anymore. Because this is what we're left with. A $200 potato sack and a frowny face model.
The other night, my husband and I were folding laundry when he came across a pair of kids overalls. He looked at them for a minute before asking if they were our son's or our daughter's. (Despite being three years apart, they're roughly the same size.) I stared him down before I reminded him that I would never put our children in overalls. Ever. I still don't know where they came from. But we don't do overalls in our family because they always end up looking like your butt needed a snack.
You have to take a stand for something.
Pants... that have pleats...that look like acid wash... that have a droopy crotch....that look like sweatpants. Worn with cute wedges. STOP TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS!
Is it me or do these pants make this poor model look like she has a 36-inch crotch? I feel like crotch lengthening is NEVER in.
Let's clear this up: Maxi skirts = adorable and cute. Oddly cut Little House on the Prairie skirts = weird and unflattering.
Unfortunately, this spandex.... thing is on backorder for two weeks. 1) Sorry to get your hopes up. 2) Looks like you won't be the only person dressed like a demented Yankee Doodle at the family reunion. Sadface.
I love this. It's like a chic Peter Pan. Wait a minute... I don't love this at all!
Reader Megan sent me a website that had TOO MANY gems. Like these pants, which make you look mysteriously naked.
...or this swimsuit, which makes you look mysteriously lonely.
Also... kitty jowls near your hips is never a good idea. I don't care how much you love cats.
Alright, I'm off and running for the day. I'm excited for my Monday outfit post because it's the debut of my sweet blue shoes. Remember when I said I bought them because I needed blue shoes? When I went to put them in my closet I realized I absolutely had a pair of blue shoes all along. Some would say that means it's probably time to pare down my shoe closet. You know what I would say to that?
Leave now. Never come back. Kthanks.