Freaky Friday: Letters to Fashion

Friday, July 22, 2011

Have you guys ever seen the website Dear Blank Please Blank?

It's only the funniest site EVER. It makes me die. Although me and my brother who lives in Botswana really enjoy First World Problems as well. Not that it has anything to do with anything. I'm just saying.

So, today I thought I'd write a few love letters to our fashion offenders. You know, just to keep it personal. That's how I roll.

Dear En Vogue:

You've really let yourself go.

On the other hand, you have the right to lose control. (GET IT!? HAHA)

Kisses, Jae.

Dear Purse:

Do I put you in my vacuum? I'm always running out of bags.

Confused, Jae.

Dear type of girl who would carry something like this:

Please don't hurt me.

xoxo, Jae.

Dear Model:

Might I interest you in a sandwich?

Hungrily, Jae.

Dear Maker of these sweatpants:

A pig in a tuxedo is still a pig.

Love, Jae.

Dear shoe:

You have a garbage stuck to you. How embarrassing.

Cordially, Jae.

Dear short dress wearing model:

I can see your Fallopian tubes. Pants next time?

Hopefully, Jae.

Dear Claire, the awesome reader who sent me this:

You are my second favorite. Next to Steve Buscemi. Even so, I probably wouldn't wear him on my dress. While he is the best part of The Wedding Singer, (Best man! Better man....) he may be the least attractive man alive. Sorry Steve. I feel like you know. But hey, my face isn't on a dress, so more power to you.

Call me!


Dear jumpsuit makers of the world.

Stop. Just stop.

Wearily, Jae.

Dear Model:

You look like me when I go to stay at my parents house and forget hygiene and shlump around in whatever I dig out of my little brother's closet.

I like it.

Love, Jae.

Dear Prada.

$1,500? Really? I already have legs.

Grumpily, Jae.

Happy Friday everyone!


Jenna said...

WOW to the Steve Buscemi dress. I feel like it might be OK with a belted cardi, though.

I kid, I kid.

Jae said...

Jenna, you are a true fashion maven! Lol

Anne said...

Jae, love your blog, especially freaky friday. I have to say, the model that looks like you in your brother's clothes at your parents' house... her legs are totally different sizes and inhumanly small. WHat is happening there?

Anonymous said...

Thank you, friend, for introducing me to Dear Blank Please Blank. And thank you for your hilarious Friday posts.

GothKitty said...

Oh look, more judgmental "mothers". I feel sorry for your children and the boring lives they are forced to lead.

Jae said...

I know. It's like, is a childhood without a Steve Buscemi dress even a childhood AT ALL!?


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