Friday, July 22, 2011
Have you guys ever seen the website Dear Blank Please Blank?
It's only the funniest site EVER. It makes me die. Although me and my brother who lives in Botswana really enjoy First World Problems as well. Not that it has anything to do with anything. I'm just saying.
So, today I thought I'd write a few love letters to our fashion offenders. You know, just to keep it personal. That's how I roll.
Dear En Vogue:
You've really let yourself go.
On the other hand, you have the right to lose control. (GET IT!? HAHA)
Do I put you in my vacuum? I'm always running out of bags.
Dear type of girl who would carry something like this:
Please don't hurt me.
Might I interest you in a sandwich?
Dear Maker of these sweatpants:
A pig in a tuxedo is still a pig.
You have a garbage stuck to you. How embarrassing.
Dear short dress wearing model:
I can see your Fallopian tubes. Pants next time?
Dear Claire, the awesome reader who sent me this:
You are my second favorite. Next to Steve Buscemi. Even so, I probably wouldn't wear him on my dress. While he is the best part of The Wedding Singer, (Best man! Better man....) he may be the least attractive man alive. Sorry Steve. I feel like you know. But hey, my face isn't on a dress, so more power to you.
Dear jumpsuit makers of the world.
Stop. Just stop.
You look like me when I go to stay at my parents house and forget hygiene and shlump around in whatever I dig out of my little brother's closet.
I like it.
$1,500? Really? I already have legs.
Happy Friday everyone!