Friday, July 1, 2011
So I woke in a good mood this morning for like 10 reasons. The first? It's the Friday of a long weekend, which means food and fireworks and buying stupid crap at art fairs and stuff like that. The second? I had a dream where I made out with Justin Timberlake. We were at some awards show. We should make that happen IRL. Also, it's freaky friday! Can you believe that when I went in search of patriotic bad fashion, I found it? You don't say! A word to the wise for both my Canadian and American fans celebrating their respective holidays: dressing like a flag is not cute.
K, this first picture made me laugh so hard. When I posted the maternity picture freaky friday, my adorable friend Ashleigh, who is another Canadian transplant living down here mentioned that it weirded her out that she had all of the stuff in the infamous gun/watermelon picture. I joked that it was the American way! Nothing says patriotism like guns and watermelons! So she sent me this:
Best picture OF MY LIFE. I was also pretty excited that she tagged me as the watermelon and not as the gun on Facebook. Especially because I'm scared of guns. They are super terrifying. But seriously, four stars for Ash for going the distance with this picture. I shall buy her pizza.
America: Land of the free and home of the drunk and smelly.
Seriously. I'm not even a Yankee and I'm *pretty* sure this isn't allowed.
Don't worry -- bad fashion choices are not limited to American flags alone. Nothing shows your Canadian pride by stomping all over the maple leaf, amiright?
I think I just heard Abraham Lincoln weeping.
Now this. THIS is what the forefathers fought so hard for: you to defile their memory by wearing quite possibly the world's ugliest shoes. With rolled up pants, natch.
"Hey baby... there's a political party in my pants and you're invited."
"Leave me alone Anthony Weiner!"
(PS: HIS LAST NAME IS WEINER!!!)
Oh, young love. And oh, creating patriotic clothes out of duct tape and wearing them to prom and posting them on the internet. Memories.
"Ladies, ladies... you'll all get a chance to 'salute the flag."
"OMG Weiner, you are not even Canadian."
"Meh, it was worth a try."
This cat is two seconds away from moving to Czechoslovakia.
Make this girl a deaf/mute and you have a recipe for instant pageantry win.
Wow. I super love how this picture perpetuates like 900 different Canadian stereotypes. Mostly that the entire country is covered in ice and we're all fisherman. Note to self: wearing a skimpy bikini with winter socks and wellies is an instant hotness killer. There go my plans for swimming at the North Pole.
That's it for me! I'm off to daydream about Justin Timberlake and get ready to head out for the weekend. I hope that everyone has a safe and happy Canada Day and Independence Day and remembers not to be weird and wear patriotic bikinis.