Freaky Friday: Fun with Keywords

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ooh boy I have some DOOZIES for you today.

For those of you not aware, "Fun With Keywords" is when I dig around my Statcounter to find out what people are searching to find me. Most of the time, it's totally normal, like "How not to dress like a mom" or "Jae completes me" but sometimes they are WEIIIIIRD. Observe.

-"Without dress"

Wrong website, pervert.

-"Why do I look like my aunt and not my parents?"

Um...this is going to be awkward. Maybe also ask your dad why he's into sisters?

A total side note, but as a child I loved to tell my littlest brother, four years younger than me, that he was from a German family, and when he turned eight they were going to come get him and make him go to work in a work camp in Germany. When he would cry, my mom would scold me and I would say, "Mom! You have to tell him! Stop allowing him to live this lie!" And he would hide in his room for hours and I would get hours of little-brother free time. Clearly I was a fantastic sister.

-"I hate it when I wear a dress once and it's ruined."

Does anyone NOT hate that? What a weird thing to search. Like "Ohh, my dress is ruined!! I hate when that happens... I wonder if anyone can commiserate ONLINE!"

-"Lady Gaga jellyfish photos"



I hate you.

-"Pictures of how not to dress in the office."

Oh! That I can do! Try not to dress like this:

(PS is that a guy with a SWORD in the background? WTH is this world coming to, people? YOU ARE HUMANS IN 2010! Not a medieval knight, and CERTAINLY not a cat. Also, please put the girls away. Awkward women who don't know how to properly wield the cleavage make me uncomfy.

Also, something like this is absolutely inappropriate for work, in my humble opinion.

She had me on board until the fuzzy legwarmers.

-"Mom jeans and platforms"

*sobbing* WHY? WHY would you make me do this?


THERE? Are you HAPPY NOW? If you were asking if you could wear mom jeans WITH platform flip flops, the answer is absolutely not. Hows about you burn both of them. Mom jeans are pretty much against the vow that I took upon starting this blog, and platform flip flops are the worst. Like, really? You're going to strap THAT much foam on your feet? Just wear wedges and don't look like an oversized 13 year old instead. Those are not flip flops. They are flotation devices.

I hope the freaky people keep these weird searches coming, because I am LOVING IT! Although I will admit that I've searched some weird things. I have to do a lot of research with my job at Livestrong, and once I had to look up goat backpacks. I am not kidding. Backpacks... for goats.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever had to look up??


Fashion Butter said...

I swear someone wore that yellow dress to my prom, which was a million years ago.

The aunt/parents question made me spit.

SuziQ said...

I have to look up some strange stuff for my job, too, because we transcribe the news. Mostly I wonder if the government has flagged us because we're always looking up spellings of terrorists' names and stuff like that. I'm sure we're on watchlists. LOL

Kara said...

As far as the cat lady picture goes...either her nipples are on the bottom of her boobs or there was some serious photoshopping going on there!

Ashley said...

Kara - I'm so glad you pointed that out about the cat picture. I was totally thinking it.
That kitty has issues.

And I don't even know what to say about the yellow dress, maybe she got in a knife fight?

And I totally saw the mom jeans platform outfit at the zoo with the kiddos the other day. It was... nice...

Arienette said...

Jae, I can think of at east oine job where that yellow dress would not only be appropriate, but probably likely to increase your take-home.

Just saying'. Pro's before clothes, yo.

(word verification: inedulte which is DEFINITELY maybe Italian for sexy-naughty-things)

Oklahoma City CityMommy said...

Is the girl in the yellow dress a man? @ LOL at Arienette's comment.


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