Jae Tests the Trend: The Maxi Dress

SO last week my sister in law Facebooked me to see if I would come shopping with her for a maxi dress after seeing last week's post about spring trends. So we set off on Thursday to find a maxi dress with the following criteria: 1) Must fit over her lovely lady lumps. 2) Actually, that was it. Of course, while perusing the racks I found a few things for myself. It would be sacrilege otherwise. Anyway, I've heard people say things like "I'm short, I can't wear maxi dresses" or, "I'm a jeans a tee kind of girl." This Test the Trend is proof that maxi dresses are easy to wear, totally comfy, and a good change from the same old. (PS, people who don't try new things because it isn't 'them' totally grind on me, by the way. Uh, obviously if you never try anything different, it won't be you. It doesn't exempt you, it just makes you seem like an old stick in the mud.)

Anyhow, there are some right ways to do a maxi dress, okay ways, and oh so very wrong ways to do it.

Observe.


K, this is SO WRONG. We were in our friendly neighborhood Forever 21 and kept grabbing things that we THOUGHT were maxi dresses, but were really maxi pantsuits and horrendously scary. Here I am sacrificing myself YET AGAIN for you people, to show you just how crotch-tastic this thing is. So bad. And it had like, a triple leather belt for maximum drama. I felt very "Dallas" in this outfit. Also, we were laughing and making fun of it while taking my picture and got the stink-eye from the dressing room worker. K, JUST BECAUSE YOU WORK THERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO DEFEND THE CRAPPY STUFF THEY SELL OMG. Obviously, this was left hanging neatly in the dressing room, which was more than it deserved. Also, my sister in law sent me this picture saved as CROTCHMONGER.jpg, which was fitting. It gave me an EPIC front-bum.


So this is a "meh" way of doing the maxi dress. It's oooookay I guess. I love the color, but this is a little plain jane. It also can come off as a little jumperish, regardless of how cute the dress is. I won't judge you for this per se, but I will believe you can do better. Also, the sun streaming through the windows makes me look like I've died but come back to make pottery with my old girlfriend. Wait, that's Ghost. I had to take these pics on self timer, okay? My husband vehemently opposes being any part of this blog.


Much better. Remember how we talked about maxi dresses being pregnancy-inducing? And not in the I-wanna-be-pregnant way? A cinchy belt totally helps. Now, when it comes to wearing a shirt under something, or wearing a cardi over it, I always pick wearing something over it. It doesn't mess with the aesthetic so much and gives some dimension to the outfit. Now my 5'4" frame looks tall and statuesque, even tho "maxi dresses aren't for short people". Pshhh I say. Pshhh.


I was going to post this picture so you could again see the cinchy belt doing its job and making my waist looking tiny.... but I just wanted to show off my baby. Cute right? Clearly he is not concerned about making his waist look smaller.

Anyways, really, really DO try maxi dress this season. I think you'll find that its just as easy, if not easier than jeans and a t-shirt, and easy even for people who are fashion-challenged. IT'S ONE PIECE. If you don't think you can handle putting one piece on in the morning, then you probably shouldn't be operating a computer.

Except, still do, because I like having readers. Mmmkay. I'm sorry I called you challenged.

Touchy.