Freaky Friday: Reader Submissions

Friday, April 30, 2010

I have the best readers in the whole wide world, I really do. When I first started this blog, it was for a handful of my friends that were asking me what to wear. Little by little, we gained speed and now I have a whole army of moms who e-mail me gross things they spot while perusing the web. And that makes me very, very happy. If you see something awful, make sure to e-mail me or post it on the fanpage. We can all discuss and say "EW" together, and that will warm my heart.

My Aunt Colleen reminded me of the return of the PAJAMA JEAN! They're jeans! They're pajamas! And they only reek of sadness and desperation a little bit!

One of my favorite regular posters and sometimes girlfriend, Arienette sent me these abominations. What's with the flappy pockets? They look like gills. Also, Arienette promised she would have my babies if I posted this, so ... this could get awkward.

YAY! Megan S. sent me FIESTANATIVEAMERICAN clogs. Like really? Just pick a genre. Whatever it is, it shall be ugly. Clogs have no place in your closet.

Carly B. sent me some awesome foot undies. APPARENTLY they are for dancers, but is the crotch-seaming really necessary? She also pointed out that this is a creepy foot fetish pervert's DREAM. Ick. Watch me get a million hits from dirty fetish sites now, THANKS CARLY.

Emily C. sent along this romper offering, knowing how much I would appreciate the giant front bum that it induces. She knows me all too well.

Jessica S. e-mailed over a prime example of what happens when a ballerina, a Barbie, and my four year old get together and drink tequila. They throw up and create these shoes. Sweet mother, that is a lot of pink bows.

This is technically for my sister in law. Every time we go shopping she feels the need to remind me that she is in her 30s and doesn't want to look like she is trying too hard to be young. I finally have a definitive answer: This headband makes you look like you're trying too hard to be young. It also makes you look like the lovechild of Minnie Mouse and Madonna.

WHY? WHY ROMPERS AGAIN? Steph P. sent along this super awful example. Remember when we talked about good floral and bad floral? This floral is very, very bad. I honestly think I owned CULOTTES like this at age nine. CULOTTES!!!

Yup. Definitely squeeze yourself into mint green tapered jeans. And then pair them with hoofy- shoes. Perfect. You now look like my favorite flavor of ice cream. Thanks to Debbie K., for making me crave mint chocolate chip at 9 am.

I think I need to lie down now.

I want all of you guys to bookmark this site for next week (as if you haven't already) because next week we'll be talking about plus sizes! Woo hoo. We just discussed how I hate the term "plus sized" in general, so let's just say if you're more than a size six, you'll want to tune in... or surf over? I don't know what to say?

Let's also give a big thanks to Nat, who is almost done her pregnancy. She's done an awesome job with Maternity Monday, and I think all you preggers are better dressed for it, am I right?

Happy weekend!


Arienette said...

Oh sweet baby Jesus.
I want to throw an 80's party so I can wear the bow headband, bow shoes, and floral romper. It'd be rockin'.
I think you'll find upon careful review of our contract I said I would NOT have your babies.
Oh, alright then. Your closet or mine?

Arienette said...

Also, to clarify for readers, the leggings are billed as "Animal Print 3/4 length Leggings with voluminous side pockets" and there is just no place or time on God's green earth when that has ever been an acceptable combination of words.

Rachel said...

I just found your blog...and I totally think we could be friends.

Jae said...

Arienette, you had me "voluminous side pockets".

Rachel, woo hoo! I like friends. And I'm easily swayed by sparkly gifts. Just throwin' it out there.

Anonymous said...

I can't read. This article looked interesting (and a link was posted on Facebook), but the background makes it too difficult to read.

Anonymous said...

Just kidding! (from post below), the page just hadn't loaded all the way! sorry. :0)

RoseAG said...

There is a woman at church, in her 70s at least who wears a headband with a bow almost like that. She's got them in many colors to coordinate with her outfits.

She got blond hair and bright red lipstick and the rest of her wardrobe is equally frilly.

If it weren't obvious that she's taken a lot of care matching these things up and getting ready to go someplace I'd think it was awful looking.

You know the phrase about "when I get old I'll wear purple?" In this case when I get old I'll wear that headband with the bow.

The Wifey said...

YES. My feet undies made the post! WOOHOO I feel so validated. haha.

You always make me laugh.

Anonymous said...

Those underwear flip flops take the freaking cake! Are these "fashions" designer's revenge against women? WTF. ROMPERS? Ugh. And I DESPISE skinny jeans, mint green or of whatever color. Everyone looks like they were stuffed into sausage casings when they sport those things.


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