Friday, April 9, 2010
I love watching the Fashion Week footage and seeing all of the crazy stuff designers roll out, hoping that it'll be the next big things. Unfortunately, there is only one Crocs, so I'm afraid the "crazy ugly thing that regular people think they like" spot has been filled. So, all of the other weirdo fashion inventions end up in the bargain bin at the Pick n' Save. Luckily, they are preserved for all time on the Internets. Yay for you AND me!
Hey, I've only had two children in what I THOUGHT was a normal labor and delivery. But maybe I was doing it wrong? This looks much easier. And creepier.
These pants are meant to wink at other people while you walk. Number one problem: All of these people need to go a size up, am I right? Number two problem: Calling attention to your undulating bum is bad form always. ;) (That was a wink... did it make you feel dirty?)
Thong jeans! Do you think that if a girl wore a visible thong underneath this the universe would explode?
K, so whatever, this isn't really fashion, but you put it in your pants (ew) so it's close enough. Have a special event coming up? Fill your undies with toot patches here to diffuse your irritable bowel syndrome. Also, you're super classy.
Your dog hates you. He hopes you die in your sleep and totally won't be heroic and call 911 like the dogs on tv.
The breast pillow. First of all, can I say hahahahaha? My boobs are so small that when I sleep they look like they are ignoring each other. Maybe I need a vice to crank them together?
Listen, Miley Cyrus. YOU CANNOT ALWAYS HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. Observe the flip flop sock. It makes me sad inside.
The patch to avoid camel toe. Know another way to avoid camel toe? Stop dressing like a dirty prostitute.
Padded butt jeans. I have it under good authority that this is actually a picture of my own derriere. And I didn't see a PENNY.
Armored jeans. I kind of feel like these would be well-respected in the LARPing community. I could not love a human baby as much as I love LARPing videos on Youtube.
Well, I'm off to buy some flip flop knee sock hybrids. I hope everyone has good, yet fashion failure free weekend!