Vintage HNTDLAM: Natural Cures for SCFD - Seasonal Crappy Fashion Disorder

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wow, my blog does not work well with acronyms.

I know I put this post up every year around the end of January and beginning of February and for good reason. I'm in the fashion doldrums, you guys. Although, my hubs did take me shopping last night for Valentine's and I got the ca-yootest nautical polka dot shirt and some other stuff that is making me happy. But today, I shall be working and cleaning and getting ready for a birthday party, so it's kind of the perfect day to slough off and repost my yearly reminder to stop dressing crappily just because it's wintertime. Other reasons?

1) It has been dreary and foggy here for the last couple of days and I need something colorful to brighten things up. Speaking of which, did you know I was voted "Most Likely to Brighten Your Day" of my graduating class? I kid you not. I'm a frickin' ray of sunshine. I cannot be contained by crappy February days!!

2) Honestly, February SUCKS for me. With V-Day and both my kids' birthdays all in a row plus some random meetings I need to get to, I can barely keep my head on straight, which means posting has to take a back seat until I can somehow conjure a Lightning McQueen cake. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

3) I have a lot more readers this year and I don't want you newbies missing out on valuable wisdom and pretty accessories.

Since this post still applies, I thought it was worth it to reiterate the fact that winter doesn't have to be all Blandsville and Lamestown. While I certainly love a wool skirt, I'll love it even more with a print top.

You guys aren't mad at me for reposting are you? I updated it for this year, so even if you've read it before, take a gander and get with the program again. I swear I'll make it up to you with Freaky Friday, mmmkay?


One thing that you should know about me, other than the fact that I constantly, incorrectly use the words "scratch" and "itch" interchangeably, is that I LOVE WINTER. I grew up in the Great White North, and was conditioned to sub zero temperatures, and now that I live somewhere snowy and mild, I find it delightful.

You don't even understand when I explain the coldness that was Toronto. Only those that live there, have moved away, and come back really realize how bone chillingly, nostril freezing, stay in bed with an electric blanket cold it is up there. Now when I go home to visit, I wonder how I ever survived. And my parents made me WALK to school. Uphill both ways. True story. NO really.

So while I love winter where I live, the snow, the not-too-cold cold and the opportunity to drink a lot of two packet hot chocolate, there is one thing I don't love. In the words of Tyra Banks, I feel like it is an epidemic sweeping the nation.

SCFD - Seasonal Crappy Fashion Disorder.

Those suffering from SCFD may experience the following symptoms: Wearing the same clothes too often because they're "comfortable", stepping outside of the house in sweats at 3pm, wearing parkas ALL THE TIME, and looking unkempt, not put together, and altogether sad.

Luckily, you don't have to visit your doctor to find the cure for SCFD. I offer it free. Which is really, really nice of me when you think of it. Co-pays are high.

To battle SCFD, use bright colors to add to your neutrals to brighten up your clothes and your outlook.

Take one bright, basic green belt from Buckle, and wrap it around a khaki skirt or trench coat to add a pop of color.

Use a yellow trench and wear over all neutrals to spread general SCFD cheer. (PS Plus sized girls, this one is for you!) I totally have a yellow trench and have challenged myself to wear it with red heels in the next week or so. KABLOW!

Sub a soft, orange Michal Kors hobo for your usual structured, basic bag. I'm carrying a black bag right now, but this is inspiring me to dig out my teal bag for funsies.

Grab a pair of red heels that are totally appropriate for winter (Unless you're walking to work! Then use flats or boots.) Wear with all of your black and gray winter staples.

Bring some color to your pale face with a freakin' adorable headband by Charlotte Russe. Bahh I might be buying this I love it so much.

Finish off with a winter-y warm, but still bright and adorable scarf from PacSun.

Prescription directions: Don't go all crazy and wear all of these items at once. You'll look a) crazy and unbalanced or b) like a gay pride parade barfed on you. Choose one at time. Wear with neutrals and all of the outfits you've been wearing all winter long; sweaters, jeans, heavier skirts and slacks. Feel free to share your prescription with others. Seeing people looking drab and boring in the winter makes me want to curl up, watch Titanic and cry. Remember that you don't need to pull out all of your spring wardrobe now, as it is still frigid in most parts of the country.

Do not mix items with puffy hoodies, parkas or moon boots, as the combination will dilute the cuteness of the bright accessories, and SCFD may resume.

Side effects may include: Jae being very happy that people aren't wearing gray anymore, compliments from husband, and a feeling of admiration from the general public, and very rarely, an empty wallet. Empty wallet only occurs when you don't know how to shop properly. Adjust your shopping techniques.

Consult a retail store if SCFD doesn't improve with the addition of better fashion. You might need me to yell at you and say things like, "Oh heading to another funeral, are we?" Because I totally will behind your back.


acte gratuit said...

Your blog makes me laugh! One day, when we have money and live near an American mall, I'll take your advice and buy some cute, bright accessories. In the mean time, I mom jeans.

Shop Girl* said...

I love this... I definitely need more splashes of color. In fact, I'm going to make it my "thrift" mission for next Thurs! I'll link to your post and show off what I can find. ;)

Jae said...

I like it!

Henri said...

This post is what made me challenge my habit of getting black/grey warm clothes and washing myself out, thinking it was all good because I had one red spring coat and that obviously made up for it, right? Wrong.
My winter wardrobe is full of colour this year, and I'm loving it. I still haven't quite mastered the concept of belts-not-worn-in-trousers but maybe one day.

Jae said...

YAY Henri. I salute you. You will get there with the belts and then you'll find out how you ever dressed without them. OK, I might be a little overly passionate.


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