What I Wore: September Remix

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

I slept in a hoodie last night, so that means one thing and one thing only: Time to wear fall clothes without sweating. Man you guys I am so excited about that. AND I've been on a month-long shopping diet (which I only broke to buy this, this, and this BUT IT DOESN'T COUNT) and I'm done this weekend. And yes, I am planning to break that shopping fast in a major way on a weekend-long bender. And yes, I am aware that it totally negates any benefit of going on a shopping diet.

I spent the month of September remixing stuff that I already own. I know. The horror. I also lopped off a good five inches of hair and it's been lovely. 

Top: Local boutique but here's a close one
Jeans: Jolt (I bought these for dirt cheap on sale and I've been wearing them alllllll the time)
Boots: Frye (here on sale!) These have been, hands down, my fave purchase of the summer. And when I say "my face purchase" I obviously mean "fave purchase my husband made). 

Since school has been back, I've spent a day a week helping with reading in my kids' classes. And one time, I helped with math in my daughter's 4th grade class and afterwards realized I had taught them how to do it all wrong. Thanks, common core. Anyway, I've been living in jeans and boots since I've been crawling around classrooms and sitting on the floor a lot. 

Top: Calvin Klein (here
Skirt: F21 (I've had this for like five years and it's still going strong. Similar, similar)
Shoes: Charlotte Russe (here)

I'm not gonna lie, this is the picture that inspired me to cut my hair off. It was just looking super straggly at the ends and needed a refresh, so I made an appointment and headed in the next day. Also, I'm actually wearing lipstick in this picture, which is something that basically never happens. I use Nars Velvet Matte Lipstick Pencil in Cruella. A good red is so hard to find and this one is just dark enough to avoid looking garish. And (don't ask me how I know this) it looks equally as good on my olive-skinned daughter as it does on super pink-fair me. 

I love a good before and after!
Top: Local boutique (here it is in navy) (loving this one)
Pants: Calvin Klein (similar -- I have these and I love them and recommend them to everyone)
Boots: Frye (here)

So I obviously wore this to my hair appointment. When I got there I was like "Ehhhh do you have time to touch up my highlights too?" and it ended up being a blonde overhaul. I'm looooving the ashier tone and plan to go just a touch lighter next time. I told my husband I'll eventually just show up with white hair. Anyway, I brought this picture with me when I got the cut and am super happy with the way it turned out. It's one of the better cuts I've ever gotten, and I change my hair A LOT. 

Top: Arizona (here)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Jacket: Calvin Klein (this season's is gray and I need it, right?)
Boots: Frye 
Cuff: Frye 

Here's what I've learned about doing head-to-toe black: It really only looks good with high-quality(ish) pieces. I love wearing all black, but there needs to be some variance in texture or you'll look crazy and texture usually comes along with better clothes. The texture on these boots with the smooth jeans and the leather jacket make me a lot happier than my black clothes would let on. It's not something I would do everyday, but it's kind of refreshing and makes me feel just a little powerful. Plus, you know what they say: Once you go black.... you enjoy it immensely and put it on rotation for when you want people to generally leave you alone. 

Also, lob + messy curl = love forever. 

Top: stoosh (here)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Boots: Ardene (similar)
Cuff: Frye 

Most of my work meetings happen via video call at my desk, so I don't even have to wear pants if I don't feel like it. (I do.) (Usually.) But I do occasionally have to meet with clients in-person, like I did this particular day. Working in a creative career means I get some wiggle room with clothing, so I went with a pleasantly clashy white, black, and brown vibe. I need my clothes to say "I'm detail-oriented, but just weird enough to be creative." 

Alright, that's another month on the books. I think I will probably be back on Monday to talk about what I bought on my binge shopping weekend. It's time for fall clothes and I'm excited to get some jackets back in the rotation. I feel like they missed me. 

Random Fashion-Related Thoughts

Monday, September 14, 2015

Aww yeah I'm staring down the barrel of 70-degree temps and I am lovin' every minute of it. I'm gonna wear the CRAP out of my leather jackets because it's supposed to go back up to 80 next week. Utah ugh.

How do we feel about lace-up flats? I'm not a huge fan of lace up heels (maybe it's because I haven't found the right pair but they always seem trashy to me. I could maybe get on board with these) but lace up flats might be OK, right? I feel like these would look super cute with a cropped jean and loose-knit sweater for fall.

Now is the time to buy swimwear, my friends. I've gone on a rampage and had to calm myself when alllllll the swimsuits I've been ogling are on for 75 percent off. My swimsuit collection is getting out of control but how can you not buy them when they're like, $13?

I'm on a shopping diet right now and it's horrible. I only have to make it until the first weekend in October. The first few days I found myself browsing online and feeling nervous and sweaty and then it became so unbearable that I scrounged up an old half-used gift card so I could order something (IT DOESN'T COUNT). Whenever I do a shopping diet it makes me painfully aware of how much I actually shop and it's mildly horrifying.

How glad am I that plaid is super in this fall? I bought this shirt (before the diet started I went on a binge because that's what you do before a diet starts) and it fulfills me. Plaid button-ups have been my jam since I was like, 14 and really into bowling shirts and cargo pants for some reason (not to be confused with my short-sleeve turtleneck phase) (or my too-small overalls phase) (or my sassy phrase T-shirt phase please someone just burn all old pictures of me).

Jae's Law: Whenever I get ready for work and shower and do my hair and slap some makeup on, my video call for that day will inevitably be canceled. If, however, I decide to tempt fate and bank on an audio call, sure enough, I'll see a video call coming through and I'm left feigning technological difficulties while I race around the house and throw on a cardigan and mascara. Also, it means I look nothing like my superprofessionalglamorshot and I can feel clients' confusion when a bespectacled, bebunned person pops on their screens.

I'm getting a haircut this week. My ends are fried. I'm thinking a lob (long bob)? I'm really feeling this one. Or maybe I'm just feeling Chrissy Teigen. Thoughts?

So can we declare the summer of the romper over? I understand that people think they're comfortable but a) they give everyone wedgies and b) we still have not resolved the fact that in order to pee, you have to get naked. Which, whatever, if you want to do that in your own home that's fine just make sure your blinds are closed. But in a McDonald's bathroom?

We are having a lively discussion about ironic mom jeans WHICH ARE A THING THIS FALL on my Facebook page. Feel free to weigh in unless your opinion is that mom jeans are chic and timeless, in which case you can leave forever and never come back. 
Okay, I think that fulfills my needs to word vomit fashion-related topics for the month.

What I Wore: August Rush

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Can we talk about how much I love my children, but how much I love that my house is so quiet around 8:30 am every morning now? They started back to school and I'm just left here working and having full conversations with my dog.

We packed a ton of stuff into August, because it's usually the time I start feeling guilty about not doing enough summer activities before school starts. We've hit up museums, waterparks, boating, and we just got back from Yellowstone (which was beautiful but far too much physical activity for an actual vacation).

Now that things are calming down, I'm just waiting for the weather to change so I can start wearing actual outfits again. I can only do so much with a T-shirt and jeans. It's too hot for layering. Utah, feel free to get it together anytime.

Top: H&M (similar) (similar
Skirt: Local boutique - you can buy online though! (here) (considering this one next!)
Boots: Frye Isa (here) Seriously the detail on these makes me die (cheaper option)
Necklace: Nordstrom (similar) (this one is literally $4)
Bracelets: Marc Jacbos, Ardene (Canada)

This is the first time I got to wear my new Frye boots that my lovely husband bought for my birthday. Seriously you guys, one pair of Fryes is like a gateway pair. Then you can't stop buying them forever because other boots feel terrible. My advice is to not start at all. I got them in July, but it's been too warm to really wear anything but flip flops. I cheated the system and wore them to a Shania Twain concert (because obviously) and then with a skirt the next day. I am a devious genius. I cannot wait to start wearing them with any sort of regularity. I just went fall pants shopping (I KNOW IT'S TOO EARLY) and got some black skinnies that these will look suh cyut with.

Top: Calvin Klein (print is gone, same fit)
Pants: Calvin Klein (similar)
Shoes: Dollhouse (similar) (sparkly!
Necklace: F21 (similar) (waaaaant

I'm reasonably sure I wore this to go see Shaun the Sheep with my kids, which BY THE WAY is friggin' adorable. My husband was so embarrassed because I have a loud theater laugh and there were only like, three other people there. But man there is just something about sheep and British stop motion movies amiright? 

Top: H&M (one of the five that I now own of this exact shirt. Please send help and also money to buy more shirts.)
Skirt: Old Navy and very old and the only thing I've ever bought from there that didn't end up horribly disfigured after laundering (similar) (plus)
Shoes: Soda and also very old (similar) (yes please)

I'll never get tired of semi-nautical style and I just really wanted a chance to wear these shoes again because they're so fun but look exceedingly patriotic when worn with the wrong clothes. Luckily, I have a neverending supply of these H&M tops and the light blue offset the red, white, and blue a little. So, you know, it's necessary to keep buying them. 

T-shirt: Decree (here) It's $9 and probably the perfect-est white tee I've ever owned. 
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here but no zippers :( 
Boots: Dexflex @ Payless (similar) (wedge)
Necklace: Nordstrom 
Bracelet: My son picked it out for my birthday. He has excellent taste for a 6-year-old. 

OK,OK so this was yesterday and technically September, but you'll probably notice that consistency is not my strongest point. I wore this out to lunch with my husband for his birthday. He is super private about his personal life at work, but we ran into basically his entire office while out to lunch, so I sneaked over and told his boss that it was his birthday. I got an accusatory text an hour later, when 20 people were in his office singing "Happy Birthday." Suckaaaaaaa.

Also, I bought these boots on a whim like, four months ago and this is the first time I've ever worn them. I think I only paid like $15 for them, which is about what you should spend on novelty stuff like leopard-print booties. They only really look good with jeans and a T-shirt. Everything else just comes off as vampy. So basically what I'm saying is bootie buyer beware. 

Remember that you can always see outfits over on Instagram (@nomoremomjeans) and I have some product reviews on the docket too. I'm trying to think up a couple of good fall-related posts but it's only September 2nd and I might be getting ahead of myself. Seriously, these 94-degree days are killing me inside.

What I Wore: Summer Days

Monday, August 3, 2015

It's pretty fitting that I would write this post on a cold, rainy day. It's the first day in like, three weeks that I'll wear something other than a swimsuit, which would explain an extreme lack of outfit pictures over the last two months. It's been too hot to consider something other than like, swimwear and a very, very light coverup.

My son's new school backpack came in the mail on Saturday and he's been asking me when school starts every hour, on the hour since then. I know that feel, bud. Summer break is over in less than three weeks and I'm excited to get back to a normal routine. I love routines. Routines are my jam. They mean predictability and I enjoy that immensely. And then you can expect outfit pics again.

Until then, I'm combining June and July, which were crazy travel, play, and birthday months.

Top: J. Crew Factory (here's the style but the color was found in store) (similar)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Sandals: Antic - sold out online but I bought them at Zumiez (similar)
Watch: XOXO (similar)

My daughter plays softball, so I basically lived at the ballpark for June. She had two games a week, plus whatever practices, and this is what I wore to a double header. Have you even been to a double header softball game for 9-year-old girls? IT'S THE WORST. 

Shirt: Gap (seasonal) 
Jacket: Calvin Klein (here)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Shoes: Airwalk (here)

Yes, I bought another moto jacket. This one is a super light denim and I cannot wait to wear it through the fall because it fits beautifully and is now the twin to my black leather one. The jacket obsession is real, you guys. Also, my husband talked me into buying these faded jeans which I thought were going to be weird but ended up being my favorite jeans this summer. When I do wear jeans. Which is like, never because pants are too hot. 

Top: H&M (here)
Skirt: White House Black Market (similar) (omg so cute)
Shoes: Charlotte Russe (similar) (wedge!)

I'm not gonna lie, guys: I loved this shirt I bought it four different colors/patterns. It's just such a nice break from wearing T-shirts every day and the fit is adorable. Also, I am usually diehard about pencil skirts, but a full A-line is so darn ladylike it makes me want to throw a tea party or something. 

Shirt: MNG (here)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Sandals: Soda (similar) (love these)

One of my core personality traits that I take a lot of flack for is being "aloof." I don't try to do it. Most of the times I'm just in my own head space and don't really go out of my way to be everyone's BFF. So sue me. My husband says it's intimidating. So basically, when I saw this "Snob" shirt, I had to buy it. I felt like it was an accurate way to set up expectations before I offended someone by being purposelessly distant. 

Shirt: H&M (here)
Shorts: Tommy Hilfiger (here)
Sandals: Montego Bay (similar) (similar)

I wore this while shopping on a Saturday and yes, that's the same H&M shirt as above, just in a different pattern. Ugh I love it too much. When I bought it, the checkout girl was wearing the same one and we were both like "RIGHT?! Right." I love a little preppy nauticalness. 

Top: JCPenney (here and cheap!)
Jeggings: Walmart (I KNOW)
Sandals: Antic - sold out online but I bought them at Zumiez (similar)

Talk about your sleeper hit: I've literally bought seven pairs of these jeggings. I'm not exaggerating at all. They're just super fun and come in a ton of colors and patterns and they're super light, so they've been bearable to wear during the heat. I kid you not, when I was in Canada, I wore these with a neon top like, 8 out of 10 days and my brother was like "Do you just have aneverending supply of those?" For $11, I just grab a pair whenever I see a new pattern when I'm buying milk. Yasssss. 

Top: Lily White (similar) (similar)
Skirt: Old Navy (love this one)
Sandals" Sanuk (here)
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban (here)

The real story here are my Sanuks, which never left my feet in Toronto and were the best ever. We walked all over the the place and these babies were so comfy the whole time, plus they're just a little different than your typical flip flop. 

Can we also discuss what humidity does to my hair? 

Oh hey, I turned 31 on this day. GO ME! We spent the entire day (which was also our 12th anniversary) wakeboarding and tubing, which is pretty much all I ever want to do. Also, my husband bought me this adorable swimsuit as part of my bday present. You can find it here

Top: Victoria's Secret (they have them in a bazillion colors -- it's one of the Varsity tees)
Shorts: Celebrity Pink (here)
Shoes: Soda (here)

Finally, an uber casual look I wore when hanging out with my family. I liked these shorts, but the pockets were kind of bunchy so I went through and cut them out. Then, we were out shopping and I put my cell phone in my pocket and it dropped right to the floor because I'm super fprgetful and couldn't figure out why it was happening. So there's your cautionary tale for the day: Don't cut out pockets and put your iPhone down your pants, kids. 

Alright, I'm signing off for a bit. It's been a slice as usual. I'm not going to get all fashion bloggy on you and be like "YES fall is coming" but seriously, outfits are so much more interesting when layers are involved. Le sigh.

What I Wore: May Days

Monday, June 1, 2015

Summer vacation has officially begun around here. Luckily, my daughter came down with tonsillitis yesterday so we're off to just a super start. My kids have literally been watching TV for like, two hours while I get my bearings. I swear it will be better tomorrow... right?

I just have way too many good intentions and then procrastinate them by blogging instead of like, feeding children breakfast.

Oh well. Nutrition is overrated. Here are May's outfits!

My daughter's softball season started last month, which means I had to be dressed to sit in bleachers for hours on end. Seriously, she has three games this week. I love this BRIGHT coral top because it stands out without being obnoxious. And it's perfect for hiding the fact that this is basically a T-shirt and jeans outfit. This is a very Jae outfit in general, I feel. Skinny pants, chiffon top, slip-ons, crossbody bag = My jam. 
Top: Lily White (similar) (lighter color)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here) I've had these forever and they just get softer and better. 
Shoes: Soda (these just recently sold out, boo) (similar) (super cute)
Bag: Coach and six months strong on this baby. I hate changing bags. (here)

I wore this on the day I took my new car into the shop because I was worried about a noise it was making. Like, I made an appointment, drove 45 mins and I get up there and the mechanic was like, "Yeah it's supposed to make that noise." And I felt like an idiot. But he was very nice and gave me a new keychain (I still had the paper dealer one) so let's call it a wash.
Top: Stylus (here)
Jacket: Calvin Klein (similar) Also I just bought this one for summer because there's something wrong with me. I justified that while I do have a white scuba style one, I do not have a white moto style. WHO DOES THIS!?
Jeans: Calvin Klein Ultimate Skinny (here)
Shoes: Nike (pretty much these)

Top: eric + lani (similar) (similar)
Skirt :Old Navy (stretch pencil for life!
Cuff: c/o Wizards of the West 
Shoes: Charlotte Russe (similar) (similar and cheap!) (love these)

This reminded me so much of my biker dad, who literally only wears motorcycle T-shirts and his riding boots and is adorable. I wore this to the ever-glamorous "picking your dog up from the spay clinic" outing. This is my life, people.
Shirt: Lucky Brand (oh, ye of little boob, short-sleeve henleys are your friend) (similar) (similar)
Jeans: Calvin Klein Ultimate Skinny (here
Boots: Frye 12R and I still love them as much as the day I got them, if not more (here)
Bracelet: Marc Jacobs (similar)

This skirt has been a friggin' unicorn. I love it and it's flattering and comfortable, but it's been really hard to find (this is as close as I can get) The brand is Ambiance and I got it at a local boutique.
Top: American Eagle (similar) (cute!) (plus)
Shoes: Qupid (similar) (love these)
Necklace: Nordstrom (similar) (yaaaas)

Whew, I just got sidetracked shopping for stuff that I found while doing this post. I am the worst.

Jae Raids the Drugstore! Best (and Worst!) Beauty Buys

Thursday, May 21, 2015

So my vanity drawer is overflowing with stuff I've bought in the last little while, so that definitely means it's time for beauty reviews: The good, the bad, and the "why did I ever spend money on that?"

Let's just go for it because we're headed out for the weekend and I have mucho stuff to do!

This was a sleeper hit for me. Usually an eyeliner is an eyeliner, but this gel-based one is super soft so I've been using it for tightlining (where you line the waterline of your eye). And seriously, once it's on it doesn't budge until you use soap, so it's a major winner. I'll be rebuying this when it's done -- I feel like it'll be genius in the summer when we're in and out of water all day. 

I've used Glycolix stuff in the past and have always been happy, so I started looking for a daily treatment option. This cleanser is supafantastic because it has all the glycolic acid goodness, but it's not irritating like the pads are (seriously I love them but they burn like the dickens). I've used this every night for like, two months and am super happy. Really great if you have the dreaded combo skin like me where you break out if anything is too moisturizing but turn in to the motherfudging (sorry I've been mainlining Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix) Sahara when it's not hydrating enough.

Si by Giorgio Armani ($28) 

YOU GUYS. I know for a fact that someone here recommended this fragrance back around Christmas, but I can't remember who. But if it was you, you're a beautiful angel from heaven because this stuff is so good. If you're into vanilla scents (which I very much am) this is such an excellent balance between vanilla and a little bit of musk so it's not too sweet. My husband got me the rollerball (I throw them in my purse and take them everywhere) and I've worn it on the daily ever since.

Cils D'enfer Maxi Lash So Volume! ($30)

In my neverending quest to try every mascara ever made (and seriously don't try and tell me about lash extensions. One of my friends just had a reaction to hers and it was so bad it literally caused her eyelashes to pop out of her skin. It's not my bag.) I tried this super FRAWNCH mascara and it was only OK. It's more lengthening than it is volumizing and my eyelashes are pretty long already so it leaned on the spidery side. For $30 I'd expect more. Something has yet to topple Dior Iconic Overcurl and L'Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes as my top faves.

Revlon Parfumerie in Spun Sugar ($3.29)

I picked this up on a grocery store run while my husband drove me around looking for cheese bagels. My usual store was out and that is not acceptable. I really like cheese bagels, you guys. Anyway, this stuff swears that it smells like sugar but I don't really smell anything. I love the color though, and it was almost opaque after one coat. I've also had it on my toes for two weeks and I think it'll probably last through the Armageddon, so that's nice.

Benefit High Brow Glow ($22)

Aaaaand massive disappointment of the month goes to: This stupid $22 shimmer stick I bought the last time I was at Sephora! I was looking for something to help define my brows because they are crazy and unwieldy. And somehow I got talked into this (seriously are the women who work at Sephora hypnotists? Because this is not what I wanted AT ALL) and when I got home realized that I'd spent way too much on something that wasn't as good as the next product for like, a third of the price.

It's OK. Just... OK. I don't see why it would ever need to be $22 though.

e.l.f. Shimmer Palette ($8)

Look guys, I'm not even trying to be dramatic, I just want to be buried with this palette when I die. Seriously, I use it every day without fail. I love that the shimmer comes in different shades, so you can add some without looking like you're ready for Elsa cosplay. I use the pink on the Cupid's bow above my lips and on my cheekbones, and then use the champagne one for my brow bones and inner eyes NO THANKS TO YOU, $22 BENEFIT PENCIL. A little goes a looooooong way. Like, for my cheeks I literally just tap the shimmer lightly and then brush my fingers across my cheekbones and all of a sudden, it's like you're a dewy ballerina-type. Such a fan.

Palladio Herbal Gel Crayon in In the Buff ($6)

So THIS is what I wanted when I went into Sephora looking for brow help. I actually wanted a matte color that was a shade lighter than my own skin that I could use on the tops of my brows to define them. I didn't want shimmer, jerks. And I love that this fat little pencil does exactly what I ask. I'll be buying it again. I clean up my brows, fill 'em in, and then use a swipe of this on top (and blend) to make them look even more defined. Thanks, you adorable little $6 crayon, you.

Anastasia Clear Brow Gel ($22)

If you know what "on fleek" means and you want your brows to go to there, this is the gold standard, folks. And yes, I was on a mission to tame my brows this month. Deal.

Anyway, I use  this after I've filled in my brows with my trusty pencil. I know that might make some brow people weep, but I use it after on purpose because I feel like it helps to smooth out any harshness and kind of airbrush my pencil work. Some people use  brow powder but my crazy brows need boundaries.

This is light, totally unnoticeable (I've had brow gel flake on me before and it's not pretty) and it stays put. That's really all you can ask. It's spendy, but it makes a big enough difference that I can justify the cost.

Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush Lip Plumper ($12)

No bueno, you guys, This said it was a "custom color" that conforms to your lips' natural coloring, so I was like, oh great, so it's like my beloved Dior Lip Glow (which I use nonstop), but with plumping. Awesome.

No. No that was not true. In Victoria's Secret land, apparently your "custom color" is like, a garish hot pink that causes you to catch your reflection in your car's rearview mirror and say "WHAT THE HECK" out loud and then frantically wipe it on your sleeves, which may or may not be a real thing that happened. Maybe others have had better luck with their custom color, but my custom color was a jerk and the plumping effect was uber-minimal (I still love this the best for plumping lip colors in Peachy Flush).

Just, yeah. Yikes.

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion Anti-Aging ($24)

I've used this stuff for two years and swear by it, but this time I bought the "anti-aging" kind because, you know, I'm 30. And it's baaaasically worthless. Like, it's fine as a primer, but as far as I can tell the only difference is that this one has a little shimmer in it? Is that what's supposed to stop you from aging? Does Urban Decay think we're all idiots?

Just buy the regular stuff.

Batiste Dry Shampoo - Cherry ($8) 

I try out dry shampoo like I do mascara and I'm really picky about scent. I swear, some smell like the inside of an apartment building lobby where I grew up. Like, kind of like someone smoked in there once and the smell never went away, but by golly, they tried.

I don't think this smells particularly like cherries, but it does smell fresh and it does its job. On a related note, I tried a "tinted" dry shampoo and it made my hair banana yellow. White is fine. Even if you're brunette, you can use white dry shampoo. Just spray it, work it in like real shampoo, and then throw your hair into a loose bun while you hop in the shower or do your makeup and it'll absorb. You can also put it in before bed and sleep in a loose bun and it'll do the same.

And that, my friends, was a tangent.

Pacifica Hand Cream in Tuscan Blood Orange ($8) 

I love Pacifica scents -- they're impactful without being cloying and that might have been the most annoying sentence I've ever typed. But seriously. Their vanilla is another one of my favorite perfumes and I loooove their Indian Coconut stuff. I grabbed this Blood Orange and it's no exception. Seriously Pacifica, you win at scents forever and you're so reasonably priced.

This hand cream goes in my purse and is super light but doesn't skimp on the moisturizing part. Plus, the little tube is adorable and I'm forever handing it out to my friends to use.

Garnier Fructis Marvelous Oil ($4.50) 

I feel like calling this stuff Marvelous Oil was setting it up for failure. Because, I mean, it's pretty good, but it would have to cause my head to sprout mermaid-like gold-plated tresses overnight for it to be Marvelous.

It's a hair oil made with brazilnuts and I guess that's good? I don't know, I can't tell a difference between this and my usual agran oil -- both just get combed through my ends when they're looking rough and that's about it.

Maybelline Color Elixir in Caramel Infused $8.99

So I took Urban Decay's new High Color Lip Gloss (in Failbait) for a test drive. I was immediately obsessed with the color, but I haaaaated the formula. After about 10 minutes of wear, it became unbearably sticky. So, after much drugstore-searching, I found that Maybelline's Color Elixir in Caramel Infused was an almost-perfect match, and the formula is creamy (ugh I hate that word) instead of sticky. This has been my new go-to color for the last two weeks. The only caveat is that the applicator sucks but I can deal.

So, while I'm super disappointed in Urban Decay, it's kind of like meeting your cute husband through his douchey best friend. Like, he's a jerk and you hate the way he laughs but you're still grateful.

Aaaaand that concludes my world record of longest post ever, during which I looked at the clock and realized the bus was rumbling up the street and had to physically push my kids out the door. So, you know, mom stuff.

It's been a slice!

What I Wore: April Roundup

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Hey girls hey.

Time for a roundup of all the outfits I wore the last month, especially for those of you who don't follow me on Instagram (which you totally should, you're missing out on stuff like Cool Runnings cocktail dresses and I feel like you can't afford to miss that) or you do follow me on IG and wanted outfit deets.

Also, does anyone else feel like the month of May is brutal when you have elementary-aged kids? We've had two field trips, a track meet yesterday, another field trip tomorrow, and like 9,000 kindergarten graduation dealies which, let's face it, was fun for your first child and a chore for your second.

Especially since my second child could not care less about school. When he comes home every day and I ask him how it went, he will a) shrug or b) make up some lie about how there was a rhinoceros on the playground.

We have communication issues.

ANYWAY. I'm now in weird limbo where I want school to be over but I know that will last approximately five minutes into summer break.

I also have some product posts for you because I've used some awesome products and some that were laughably bad. And I feel like it's my responsibility to share.


Top: Vince Camuto (here and on sale!) (3/4 length sleeve)
Skirt: Freebird (got mine through zulily) (similar)
Necklace: Bella Ella (similar)

This was for sure my favorite outfit of the month. It came out unintentionally Jessica Rabbit-ish and I'm not mad about it. Also, these are like, top 10 favorite shoes I own, so anytime I can pull 'em out, I'm happy. Also, it was super stretchy and Jae in spandex is a happy Jae indeed. Especially because Jae has to walk to church because it's across the street and Jae complains loudly every Sunday because it puts a reeeeeal cramp in her style when she has to trudge up the hill to church instead of getting to drive like normal people. 

Dress: local boutique (Last worn here and omg I look different) (how pretty is this dress?) (love this one too)
Blazer: F21 (similar) (love this one)
Boots: Ardene - Canada (similar)
Earrings: F21 (pretty!) (come to mama)

I wore this when my family and I got to tour the new Payson Temple, which was super awesome. I specifically wanted to wear something super comfortable because there was a lot of walking involved. Also, we had to wear like, indoor booties to protect the new floors and I'm vain and wanted my dress to cover them. 

Feel free to judge me. 

Top: Buckle (here) (similar) (similar)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here
Boots: Frye (here and on sale!) Seriously, these are a staple for me. Pricey, but just get better with age and wear. (similar)
Ring: Express (similar)

In a perfect world, I would have worn this outfit with heels, but it was on a date with my husband and we were doing a fair amount of walking. From restaurant to restaurant. We went for Italian and then wandered to get frozen yogurt and then did a little shopping. So you know, priorities.

Also, we conversed on IG about how Buckle is a weird store. Nine times out of ten I'll go in there and walk out empty handed, but every so often I land a gem like this top, which I found hidden behind the Steven Tyler-esque clothes at the front of the store. Get your act together, Buckle. 

Tank: c/o modbod
Jacket: Maurice's (here) (similar)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Booties: Refresh (obsessed with these) (so cute) (moto style)
Watch: Gucci (I'm having trouble finding it nowadays - it's the Twirl)

Fun fact: I wore this to a meeting that happened to be in my husband's office building. I was in the all-glass board room when I saw him go rushing by and the first thing I thought was "Way to say 'hi' to your wife, jerk." But when he came back in, he asked for my Tahoe keys and I was like "Uh, why?" and he informed me that a woman had just totaled her car into my parked SUV. And it was BAD. She had to be taken away on a stretcher and her car was wedged underneath my back bumper. Ultimately, she was OK. But I still apologized profusely to her, despite the fact that my car was parked. Like, I felt bad that my car was so strong and totaled her car? I'm so Canadian sometimes it hurts. 

Even funner fact: My husband (the same one whom I considered a jerk) ordered a new car for me back in like, January and that was the same day it was supposed to be delivered. They had to postpone the delivery one more day, but can you imagine if I had my brand-new car wrecked into on the first day I owned it? Ohhhh small mercies. 

Also, never fear: My Tahoe is in the shop and only had some minor bumper work to be done. It will now be put to pasture, and by "put to pasture" I mean parked in my driveway and only used for boating adventures and taking the dog to groomer because that stinky dog is not allowed in my new car.  So yeah, the smile in this picture is uber-fake. It was like, the second I drove home with a gimpy Tahoe. I was glad, however, that being in a creative position means I get to dress pretty casually and didn't have to deal with a smashed Tahoe in business formal. 

Top: Arizona (here) I bought like, six of these t-shirts for summer.
Jeans: Calvin Klein (hey! at least they're a different jean than my usual ones, right? These have ZIPPERS. (here) Also they're very soft. 
Shoes: Bamboo (I think) (similar) These remind me of the latest Great Gatsby movie and I'm super white girl basic when it comes to my love for that movie. I've watched it seven times. 
Bag: Coach (here but wahh, mine's Chalk and they're sold out of that color. This thing's a friggin' workhorse though.)
Cuff: Buckle (ooh I like this one)

I wore this on an afternoon of Saturday furniture shopping. I HAAAATE furniture shopping for real, you guys. I can't stand the indecision and the back-and-forth. We've been trying to buy a new bedroom set for eons, but we have very specific tastes and measurements, so we had gone like, three times before and never found anything. This day we found something, but it had to be special ordered and I'm still waiting for it. Le sigh. I honestly forget what it looks like. I'm only kind of sure that it has a leather headboard. And maybe some night stands? I don't know. It was a blur. 

ANYWAY, sometimes I just wear a T-shirt and jeans. Especially when arguing over furniture with my husbands. Gotta be comfortable for that. 

Button-down: Gap (similar, since mine has a teeny stripe)
Skirt: Old Navy and literally the only thing I've bought from Old Navy that didn't become a weird square after washing. I have it in polka dot, too. I haven't been in an ON this season... can anyone confirm if these stretch pencil skirts are back?)
Shoes: Roxy (similar) In my house we refer to these as the "Steve Buscemi shoes" because they're so ugly it makes them cute. 
Watch: XOXO (similar)

I felt super prep in this outfit, which is incidentally one of my favorite books (by Curtis Sittenfeld seriously it's such a solid beach/vacation read it's obscene). I basically wanted to get on a sailboat and like, eat oysters all day. I don't know, is that even what preppy kids do? I'm so middle class it hurts. 

Top: Victoria's Secret (here) I buy a couple every time I'm in VS. Size down, peeps!) 
Blazer: Madison and Sixth (similar) (similar)
Jeans: You guessed it (here)
Shoes: Wild Diva (similar) (these are adorable in red)

I wore this on a day when I had mucho running around to do: A couple of video calls, helping in my son's kindy class, a play date, and dinner with friends. I just ditched the blazer for the more casual stuff, which is a trick I use all the time. Put a blazer on it!! 

Extremely bright neon top: Victoria's Secret (here
Pants: Calvin Klein (here although I totally bought mine at Costco booyah I mean honestly people still say booyah?)
Boots: Frye (here) Also, just FYI the 12Rs I have are also on sale)
Also, I'm ever-so-casually holding my Calvin Klein jacket (here's a similar one if you feel like you really love the black blob by my knee)

Every time my kids' school does a book sale, it also means they do "Parents and Pastries" which means I have to go in and watch my kids eat donuts before they drag me into the gym to buy overpriced guilt-induced books. And honestly, it's like, 8:30 am and I don't feel like talking to anyone but my BFFs and so sometimes I dress like I have a huge "F off" stamp on my head because really, only my BFFs know that it really just means that I can be highly introverted at 8 am. This outfit helped to accomplish that goal. Praise be to moto jacket, which make that head stamp so much more prevalent. 

I'm an awful human being. 

Holy crap, this took me forever to write. Mostly because I kept finding things I wanted to buy while hunting down links. It's a dirty job, folks. It was fun though! Lately, my life has revolved around things like market research and educational technology which, don't get me wrong, totally blows my skirt up if you know what I mean. But it's still fun to be frivolous sometimes.

Alright, I'm off to finish work and have a way-too-long lunch with friends. It's been real! Check back for some product reviews soon!


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