Wednesday, January 27, 2016
So, in case you're not following @nomoremomjeans on Instagram, I'm pregnant.
Let's go ahead and answer all pertinent questions at once, yes?
I find out what I'm having on Monday.
It was not planned. A botched change in birth control will getcha every time.
I barfed for 12 weeks, but now I just eat everything in sight.
My initial reaction was "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS" but it's cooled off to the "This is so weird" point. Sometimes I have emotional breakdowns at the OB's office, but other than that we're good.
And I. Hate. Maternity. Clothes.
Who designs maternity clothes? Certainly not pregnant women. If pregnant women designed maternity clothes, it would be like, drawstring waists and Lycra for days. Instead they all have rigid fabric and weirdly saggy bums and enormous belly panels that are only appropriate for when you're 10 days overdue (I've been there).
I'm following the trajectory of my first pregnancy, which is to say that I've stayed fairly small in the belly area (thus far, anyway). (My second pregnancy was like, the trainwreck pregnancies and I literally spent the entire second half crying into my wheat toast while wearing sweats in the hospital.) So, until about 16 weeks this time around, I was able to just wear my regular pants and go on with my life.
And then a belly expansion occurred and now regular pants equal sad times for my comfort level. So, I did what most pregnant women are loathe to do: I went to the maternity store.
This maternity store–which shall remain unnamed but rhymes with Shmotherhood Shmaternity–is my personal hell. First, every retail associate I've encountered there gives me a case of the stabbies. One had the gall to bring me stuff that she "thought I'd like" and I was like "YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE." Second, that store is always so overpacked that it makes me super claustrophobic. Third, nothing ever fits me there.
I went in and tried on SIX (!!) pairs of pants. You know, the ones with the big, stretchy, unattractive panels? And of all those pairs, four were completely saggy in the bum and huge in the ankles. One pair of jeans fit OK and one pair of ponte leggings were good. (Nevermind the awful checkout process at that place. The woman asked me "Are you expecting, or are you just shopping for fun?" Yes, lady. I buy enormous flesh-colored paneled jeans for the thrill of it.)
Of course, when I got home and wore the jeans for two minutes, they lost their shape and I became ragey (as I'm prone to do whilst pregnant–oh, the irritability!) and threw them to the back of my closet. These ponte pants have been the only maternity pants that I can stand. Everything else can die in a fire.
So, I've literally been living in Faded Glory jeggings. Yes, from Walmart. They're the only pants stretchy enough to fit an in-between belly and still fit my legs at the same time, which is apparently some sort of sorcery that only Walmart has figured out. They're $12 and I own nine pairs, I kid you not. I buy pairs like I buy peanut butter, which is weekly. Still, let's face it: They not fancy.
So I was complaining on IG–as one does–and I was contacted by my old sponsor (I sound like I'm in AA) Liverpool Jeans, who thought they might have a solution to my pants woes. See, they have this whole new collection of pull-on jeans (no snaps and zippers, be still my heart) that would probably work for me. I ordered a couple of pairs, and since then, I've been a happy gestating human.
Here are the pairs I picked out.
Top: H&M (similar) (similar)
Jacket: kensie (cute!) (similar)
Boots: Call it Spring (similar) (similar)
Missing my beloved leather pants, I opted for this waxed Jenifer Legging pair. Even my husband was surprised when he felt them (that sounds weird) because they look super thick but are actually thin and super stretchy. In fact, I wore them all day, which is a feat that another pair of pants has not accomplished for many moons. What's more, they looked cute dressed up for running errands and a couple of meetings, but I swapped out for a comfy hoodie and high tops and they still looked super adorable.
Top: VS Pink (here) These have been lifesavers because they've been long enough to cover the belly.
Jacket: GB (here) (similar)
Boots: Frye Carson Wedge (here) (similar) (on sale!)
Then, the real MVP came in the form of these Sienna Pull-On jeans. Check out the waistband: It's super thick and totally holds you in, which I feel like I'm really going to come to appreciate in the postpartum months. I wore this out to lunch with my husbands and five of his coworkers tagged along. It was super intimate, let me tell you. But if these jeans can make it through burgers with the boys, they're definitely successful.
So although Liverpool doesn't actually make maternity jeans, if you're a weird in-betweener like me (or you just ask a lot of your denim and want them to be super shaping) then they're definitely worth it. (As an aside, I also own both the Sadie Straight and the Abby Skinny and have always loved the quality.)
So, with that being said, Liverpool is giving one of my readers a chance to win a pair of jeans from their new Contour line or their Core denim line (but seriously, the contour line is pretty fantastic.)
Just like Liverpool Jeans on Facebook and IG, and comment which pair you'd like on this post! Easy stuff (don't you hate giveaways that are like "Simply give us your firstborn son and drink the blood of an albino goat to enter!") That's it! You've got a week to enter, and I'll announce the winner next week.
And the real winner is someone who can still shop at regular stores.