Friday, October 24, 2014
So yesterday I ran out of dry shampoo, which is NOT ALLOWED because it's basically my number one staple of life after you know, water and bad reality TV. So I put my son in the car to drive down to the drugstore. Which I totally thought was Rite-Aid and then I saw the bag and I was like "I went to Walgreens today?" and was very confused.
So I grabbed my dry shampoo and maybe a nail polish and went to check out. Now, you should know that I am a sucker when it comes to signing up for cards and memberships and stuff at the cashier because I just can't say no. My husband makes fun of me because I will always just go along with giving my email, phone number and blood type to the person working at like, Bath and Body Works. I'm just a really passive person that way. I was thinking to think of a term for it... like non-shy introvert or something? I just want to agree with anything and get of there.
But yesterday, I was in a mood. I had promised myself a Diet Coke + Vanilla + Cream (ughhhhh so good) and I wanted to get out of Rite-Aid/Walgreens fast. So, when the lady asked if I wanted to join their "Exchange Your Soul for Shampoo Points" card, I actually grew a pair and said something.
Lady: Want to join our super special secret society?
Me: UGH No, I'm good.
Lady: It'll save you money!
Me: I'm actually really busy today (complete and utter lie) so, no.
Lady: It would actually save you $2 on this dry shampoo, though.
Me, in a snarky voice: I'M OKAY.
Lady: ...... well, you have a bug in your hair.
And I did. I totally had a huge bug in my hair while I was giving the drugstore cashier attitude. And then I felt like, super stupid. Because as much as I would have liked to hop on my high consumer horse and ridden away, I felt like I had lost like, moral ground or something for having a bug in my hair.
Especially because she helped me get it out.
Me: How long does it take to sign up?
Lady: Literally 30 seconds. Just enter your phone number here.
Me, entering phone number.
Lady: Oh, it looks like you already have a card with us!
So, shoot me in the face please. I then forgot to swipe my card and just stood there blankly when she gave me my total. Later, I ran out of the store saying things to Andrew like "Hurry up, buddy, we're late!" Because, you see, I had to perpetuate the lie that we were busy even though we were on our way to get Diet Coke.
And THAT is why we don't run out of dry shampoo, my friends. Because the line between having fresh, non-smelly hair and being humiliated by a drugstore cashier is awfully thin.
That was my Thursday. How was yours? Good? Good. Onto Freaky Friday.